Cornbread



Cornbread. Funny - the things that trigger memories.
I've been nursing a low back problem caused by too many times up and down a ladder this week while painting my photography studio. Feeling a little guilty, I finally got off the couch this afternoon and headed to the kitchen to fix a half decent meal for Scott and me. (A whole decent meal would be way too much to ask, bad back or not). I pulled out salmon to bake in the oven and vegetables to steam - in the microwave, of course. While looking for something in the cupboard, I noticed I had cornbread mix and thought, wouldn't cornbread be yummy with the fish and veggies.

That started a flood of memories about family friend, Jim Peterson. He made the best clam chowder and cornbread ever! My daughters can attest to that.

I met Jim when I started working for the City of Puyallup in 1975. I was first in the clerk's office and later in the city manager's office. Jim was the city building inspector, a no nonsense kind of guy. He had to be that way, given his job, but he always had a great big smile for everyone. And he could fix things. Given that I was enchanted by houses that needed fixing, I called on Jim for advice when a contractor I'd hired to finish a second bathroom made a total mess of the job. He ended up fixing the mess.

Jim took us under his wing. He had a daughter and son of his own, but his daughter committed suicide. She'd refused treatment for depression. I was a single mom and perhaps my daughters and I partially filled a hole in his heart. He and his daughter together had built the house that Jim lived in east of the fairgrounds. It was a tiny, two story home, just right for him.

Jim would invite me, Courtney and Kendall over to his house for homemade clam chowder (no canned stuff for him) and homemade cornbread. He once told me he was his mother's daughter. He'd always helped her in the kitchen and because of that he'd become an excellent cook.

I can remember sharing meals with him and the girls dancing to Neil Diamond's Forever In Blue Jeans, until they fell in a heap from exhaustion and laughter. We enjoyed a lot of great times with Jim: RV camping near Roslyn, a rode trip to Billings, Montana to visit my folks while he visited his son, and later when he moved to Alder Lake, we'd visit and enjoy the lake with him.   

Jim was unlucky in love. He married and divorced the love of his life - twice. It just didn't work out for them. When they were together, we didn't see much of him. He eventually moved to Idaho to live with his son, where he died of cancer at all too early an age. Jim was a sad, sweet and generous man, one whom we loved and miss. We'll always remember Jim fondly. Cornbread just isn't the same. BonnieKingPhotography.com 

Trust and Obey

God is not very subtle at times. It may be because I'm more obtuse than some and need an attention getter. My attention was gotten Monday evening, but the left side of my brain is still trying to find some logical explanation. Over the years, I've taken many personality tests and more often than not, the indicators showed I should have been an engineer - it's that analytical, critical thinking, task orientation bent. There is always a tendency on my part to ask questions, second guess and doubt.

A friend (I'll call her "Marie" since I haven't asked her permission to share our conversation) and I were having dinner together before the Monday evening Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) meeting. We talked about a lot of things from grandchildren to how to "rag roll" a faux glazed wall to how you know when you have a personal relationship with God. Is that a gamut of topics or what!

Marie believes she has a personal relationship with God because there are times when what she says and does is not what she would say or do. She believes the words or actions are from the Spirit which fills her. I shared that I am a believer in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, but with lots of questions, of course, and that I'm not sure how I would define my own personal relationship with God, but that I want one. She counseled that it's an evolutionary process, not a lightening strike (my words, not hers). Prayer, reading the Bible - which is the Word of God - and trusting that God knows my heart are what's important. 

Marie asked me if I was familiar with the hymn, Trust and Obey. Anytime someone uses the word "obey", I have a reaction - not necessarily positive. I am a law biding citizen, but when I think of "obey" in the context of relationships, I get nervous. My reaction may come from a loving, but often head-butting kind of relationship with my own father. You can only imagine what it was like when he was trying to teach me to drive a stick shift vehicle. Even as an adult, with dad as a passenger, I can remember him telling me how to back out of my own driveway!

I told Marie that if I heard Trust and Obey, I might remember it, but I wasn't familiar with the title. It's been quite a number of years since I attended a church that sings traditional hymns. If fact, it's been a number of years since I've attended church on a regular basis at all. She quoted I Samuel 15:22 ...To obey is better than sacrifice... I must admit I'm still "chewing" on that one.

We went to the large group gathering at the start of BSF, where we sing a couple hymns and hear announcements before going to the smaller bible study groups. I had thought when my friend mentioned the song at dinner, wouldn't it be interesting if we sang the song at BSF.

We didn't sing the song during the opening, but something more interesting happened. While I was holding the hymnal with Marie, something fluttered to the floor between us. I bent down to pick it up. My eyes widened as I saw it was a copy of Trust and Obey from another hymnal. I knew it wasn't from the hymnal we were holding since the page numbers only go to 200 and something. The copy of Trust and Obey, was a single sided copy from page number 454. My first reaction was wow, but I thought, we'll probably sing it at the end of the evening. We didn't sing it at all.

So much for God being subtle with me. I took the page home. I do believe it's a personal message. I'm sure that at some time, many pages were copied and placed in the hymnals so all could sing the song as accompaniment for a certain sermon. But Monday evening, the song was given to me - to get my attention - to trust and obey. BonnieKingPhotography.com

The Reason

I started this blog to provide my new grandsons with information about their Nana B. The reason? I started hand writing in books I bought for my daughters about 20 years ago called To My Daughter with Love. There are two books, one for Courtney and Kendall. About once a year I get them out and fill in more of the information. It's a labor of love, particularly since my handwriting isn't what it used to be and I'm hoping that someday, they'll actually be able to read them!

The one thing I've learned, writing in the books, is how little I really knew about my own mother. She was born in 1913, lived through the depression, was married twice and when married to my dad, they both worked in the shipyards in Portland, Oregon during the World War II. She was "Rosie, the Riveter" and I'm very proud to call her that. She was always a hard worker, homemaker and steadfast wife. I attended 13 grade schools because dad worked in construction and trucking and we moved a lot. She had her packing boxes organized and ready to go. (I've passed on the organizational gene to my daughters. They can really thank Loretta Julia Skates Bateman for that one). What I didn't learn about my mother was how she really felt, what her favorite things were, her own needs, wants and desires. She didn't talk about it and I made the mistake of not asking. She passed away in 1992; my dad followed her in 1997. Unfortunately, I'm leaving a lot of blanks in the book when it comes to the in-depth questions about about my mom - or I'm guessing.

My story is a bit different and my daughters probably know more about me than they care to. They've lived through four of my five marriages. Who would have thought that would be part of my life story. Not me! What I find so incredible at this time in my life is how blessed I am, now and in the past. While not all of my life experiences were wonderful in that moment, they propelled me forward to where I am now. I have a wonderful, funny, sometimes frustrating husband, who loves me dearly. I have two lovely daughters, happy in their marriages to strong, thoughtful, ethical, Christian men. I have two beautiful grandsons, Benjamin and Micah, who are simply a joy. While I don't see as much of Scott's children, Devon, Steve and Summer or their children, I'm blessed to have them part of the family. And I love my new found passion - taking photographs, capturing special moments.

Hopefully Benjamin and Micah will someday read these posts and learn a little bit more about their Nana B, who loves them very much.

To see Micah's two week old photos and some of Benjamin's four month old shots (with more to come next week), click on BonnieKingPhotography.com

Who's Calling the Shots? The Kids, of Course!

This is the week for children's pics. Thursday, I'll be taking the two week photos of grandson, Micah, and the four month pics of grandson, Benjamin. If all goes well, I'll also be taking pictures of the two of them together. The nine month photos of the Maloney twins, Matthew and Nathan, are due this weekend. How did they get so old?!

Every time I take children's pictures, the role of director is reversed. They call the shots. The child or children dictate how much time is needed to get just the right pictures. On the other hand, take too much time and tears are usually the result. When a child isn't feeling well, smiles are rare. A child's health and mood determine the story in the photo. Shyness or a refusal to smile, except to grimace like the Grinch who stole Christmas, isn't unusual.

On New Year's Eve, I had the privilege of taking photos of my friend, Teri, and her two granddaughters, Zaidon who is three, and Adrianna, five months old. We have been trying for months to find a time when the children were with Teri, one of them wasn't sick and the weather would permit the drive from the peninsula to Puyallup. On top of that, Zaidon had decided to cut her own hair which resulted in her "mullet do" as Teri called it. 

The day finally arrived along with lots of outfit changes, diapers, bottles and happy meals to keep up the energy. Zaidon decided she wanted to wear a princess outfit I have on hand with a crown, jewelry and a fancy skirt. She wasn't interested in being a fairy princess with wings. But once in front of the camera, Zaidon had her own ideas about her poses - which I love. I would never have thought to ask her to put her hand through her belt when doing her "model" pose. How cute is that!

Zaidon wasn't interested in smiling for the camera. But while grandma was changing Adrianna, she decided to run back and forth in front of the backdrop, mugging for me as she got to each side of the room. I was able to capture some "backstage" smiles. And when we were eating ice cream and visiting upstairs in my kitchen afterward, there were lots of smiles and laughter, but no camera.

Adrianna was another story. I caught her at just the right time. She was dry, had just finished her bottle and was all smiles. What a sweetie! However, the "melt your heart moments" were captured when Zaidon was pointing to the heart on Adrianna's shirt and then to the heart on her own. These two lovely girls do have a heart bond for each other - and a grandma who helps keep that link strong. 

For more pictures of kids who called the shots, click on the link to my photography web site, BonnieKingPhotography.com 

Kinked Oxygen Tubing & Logic

My husband, Scott, started pulmonary rehabilitation this week at the Auburn Regional Medical Center. This is a three times a week, eight week commitment. I've been referring to it as pulmonary resuscitation, but that's what he needs when I kink his oxygen tubing to keep in him line. (Where's the smiley emoticon?) I'm kidding, but don't think I haven't thought about it at times! Other family members know exactly what I'm talking about.

Example: Scott has a 7-day pill container with two compartments in it for each day. I fill it up once a week with about 11 medications and three over the counter supplements. Each daily container has the day of the week written at the top. There are days when he'll forget to take either the morning or the evening dose, or sometimes both. Yesterday - Wednesday - he forgot to take the morning dose. Today is Thursday and all the rest of the containers were empty because I hadn't filled them yet. This is how our morning conversation went when I handed him the container marked Wednesday.

Scott with that mischievous look on his face and a child-like voice, "I can't take thaaaaat. It says Wednesday." Me - trying to be logical, which rarely works with my husband, "It's the same dose; the one you didn't take yesterday morning." Scott egging me on with the same look on his face, "I'm just trying to be caaaarreful." My response, "Time to kink the oxygen tubing, again!"


Scott likes pulmonary rehab so far, which is good since he's a creative soul and easily bored. It helped that he was able to do some entertaining during orientation on Monday. He's always enjoyed playing to a crowd; he and his siblings have been singers all their lives. Monday, when the rehab participants were asked to introduce themselves, he robustly announced, "Hi, I'm Scott. I'm an alcoholic. Whoops wrong meeting!" That got a laugh. (By the way, he's been sober 29 years).

Since I'm not with him in classes, which consist of one hour of education and one hour of exercise, I get the instant replay when he gets home. Did you know about one in 10 Americans suffer from some form of chronic lung disease? Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) encompasses a number of lung diseases including emphysema which is what Scott has. He started smoking when he was seven years old, borrowing (okay - stealing) cigarettes from one of his grandmother's borders who drank a bit too much and didn't seem to miss them. He only quit smoking in 2008 and that was long after his five-way heart by-pass in 1998. See what I mean? Logic just does not work with this man!

I have found that what works in our relationship better than kinked oxygen tubing and logic -  is love, latitude and lots of laughter. I'll need to remind myself of that the next time I fill his pill box. BonnieKingPhotography.com

Wonder Woman

I've become much more aware in the last four months of mothers out and about with young children. Having grandchildren will do that, you know. This awareness has been heightened by the fact that from the time I gave birth to my own daughters, Courtney and Kendall, there has been quite a span between babies!

My older sister, Lore, and older brother Ray (aka Corky) had grown children by the time I got around to having my own. My younger brother, Jimmy, lived in eastern Washington and I rarely got a chance to see him, let alone get acquainted with his daughter, Brandy. (In fact, he's been so distant - I'm in the process of trying to find him, but that's another story...).

Now back to mother, children sightings. I was in Costco yesterday morning picking up Dave's Killer Bread. (It is to die for; you can get two loaves at Costco for practically the price of one at any other grocery store). And, as usual, lots of other stuff found the way into my basket, but I digress...

Wheeling down the vitamin aisle, aiming for the back wall of bread, I saw the most amazing site. Heading toward me was Wonder Woman, not in tights and a cape, but pushing a grocery cart that resembled the one man band at the Puyallup Fair. Remember him? All the instruments attached to his body and pushing a cart with even more musical paraphernalia attached. Wonder Woman had a cart piled so high... How high was it? ...it looked like the furniture-carrying IKEA Volkswagen Beetle!

Okay - enough analogies. You get the picture. But, to top it all off, she somehow attached three children to the cart. I kid you not. A couple were clinging to the sides, neatly - not aisle obstructionists, and another was somehow hooked onto the handle in front of her. She had to have been leaving. There was absolutely no more room for groceries or children. Then again... for a Wonder Woman, anything is possible.

Here are a few pictures of wonder moms and grandmothers, whose faces have graced my lens in the last year. BonnieKingPhotography.com

2010

2010 - It was the best of years and the worst of years...two weddings, four births and a funeral. Tears flowed this year expressing both happiness and sorrow. 

The first of the year, we were still exhilarating over Kendall's marriage to Jon in December 2009. Then came Courtney and Ron presenting me with a Memories for My Grandchild journal which had me baffled at first until I woke up to the fact they were pregnant! And oh by the way - the wedding would be moved up to March so Courtney could fit into her wedding dress.

That meant a wedding shower at Kendall's, quick planning with the help of neighbor Janine and others for the March 13th event in Preston, Washington.

This was also the year when Scott's health improved to the point he was able to walk Courtney down the aisle. He had been through so much since I retired in July 2008. I hope that didn't have anything to do with the abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA), the heart attack and subsequent congestive heart failure! Fortunately we had found a wonderful team of doctors with  privileges at Swedish Hospital in Seattle. You name the type of "ologist" and he probably has one as his health care provider. Four stints were inserted in his heart in April 2009 and a fifth in September 2010. But I jumped ahead...

My photography business really kicked off in the spring when I started taking photos in retirement communities. What a wonderful experience meeting and providing some joy for these precious people! In April, I completed my 10-week Master Gardener training class, got very busy volunteering at Master Gardener clinics and also volunteered to be the banquet coordinator for the Adoption Ministry fall fund raiser.

April also brought another surprise when Courtney, Kendall and I had lunch together one day. Courtney asked Kendall when she and Jon were planning to start a family. The look on Kendall's face told the story. She swore us to secrecy because Jon hadn't even told his family yet; they had just confirmed that she was pregnant too! We were overjoyed at the prospect of the two babies growing up together. Then it was time to plan not one, but two baby showers.

In August, we attended Scott's daughter Krista's baby shower, hosted by her sister, Summer. Everything was pink for the precious baby girl she carried. Krista was happy, healthy and ready to bring another life into the world to join her, Brian and 14-year old Brenevan. Scott celebrated his 66th birthday on the 25th while I snapped pictures of him and the flowers at Point Defiance Park in Tacoma.

Benjamin

September 17th, Benjamim Hilton Lee Evans was born. My first biological grandson. I was there for the blessed event, along with other family members. He came out announcing his presence, weighing 8 pounds, 8 ounces and 21 inches long. What a guy! September also found me starting the study of Isaiah along with 400 other women in  Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).

Krista, Margo & Summer

October 3rd was the worst day of our lives when Krista passed away from complications in child birth. Her daughter, Ariana, followed her three days later. The family experienced extreme grief which is only easing with the passage of time. I started a blogging class in October and one of my first posts was in honor of Krista. I still shake my head in disbelief when I see her picture.

In November, Courtney's husband Ron's daughter Marissa (Did you get all that? I don't know if commas would have helped or not!) had a baby boy in Montana. Ron, Courtney and Ben travelled to be with her and her significant other, Brandon. Aiden Edward Boswell was born on the 14th.

Micah

From October until the December 29th birth of Kendall and Jon's baby boy, the family was understandably apprehensive. Micah Jonathan Moen was born healthy and hungry into the loving arms of his dad - another 8 pound, 8 once boy measuring 22 inches long. Midwife Nancy Spencer provided support and the nurturing environment of her Lakeside Birthing Center for the wonderful event.

An amazing year from so many perspectives. Many blessings were bestowed while many questions were generated. What will 2011 bring? I pray for greater understanding of what happened in 2010 and look forward to the blessing of 2011. BonnieKingPhotography.com