Microjoys

Grandson Ben is asleep on the couch in the TV room. His mom, Courtney, is down the hall asleep in my bed after her all nighter at work. As I watched Ben fall asleep, I couldn't help but think about how he grabs my knees when Bella barks or he's startled. Then I laughed at the thought, because he's already so tall (at 19 months, people mistake him for a three-year old), that one day I'll be hugging him around his belt buckle! That moment was a "microjoy." Joan Tornow in her book, Writing Memoir Together, said, "Best times are not found within the eras [of our lives], but moments." How true. The last couple weeks have certainly produced dramatic, sometimes stressful moments, but as I reflect, they also contained microjoys - moments of delight, pleasure, and happiness.

As many of you already know, my sister, Lore, went to the hospital with a gall bladder attack on the 9th of April. During the week in the hospital, there were a number of setbacks. They found she'd also had a heart attack; she managed to pull out an IV during her sleep and lost so much blood a transfusion was necessary; she fell because her bed wasn't locked and it rolled away from her as she stood up, causing a fall that broke four ribs. The broken ribs resulted in pneumonia. A microjoy for Lore was that her fears about bone cancer were allayed when the hospital did a bone scan. She does not have bone cancer, although they found osteo arthritis. Having just come through breast cancer and now being in remission, she had been concerned her continuing back aches were also caused by cancer. Lore came home on the 17th. She has home health care four hours a day, with visiting physical and occupational therapists. When I visited with her on Thursday, she talked with the physical therapist, and I was truly happy with her positive responses about taking one day at a time and getting through - just as she's done in the past year. This was a far cry from what I heard her saying in the hospital. She still faces having a stent placed in her heart and the removal of her gall bladder, but for now her attitude is positive and she's hopeful for the future. That's a microjoy from my point of view.

In the meantime, my son-in-law, Ron, had a medical procedure on his arthritic elbow. But due to miscommunication, the physician went ahead and operated not only on his right arm, but his left hand. Voila! No arms left to lift Ben when Courtney's working.

When Ron calls me and begins his conversations with how wonderful I am, I just smile because I know I'll have an opportunity to take care of Ben. Ron called when he got home from the clinic on the 16th. So Ben was here on overnight and yes, he did sleep with me, because he's been sleeping with his parents. But after a night of no sleep for me, once again, I let Courtney and Ron know, it's time for Ben to learn to sleep in the crib which sits at the bottom of my bed and is used by grandson Micah when he's here. My sister's advice when I visited her was, "Remember, you are the adult and he is the child!" She repeated this several times while lying prone on her couch and waving her hands for emphasis. She was adamant and I laughed at the sight of her making the point while trying not to move her ribs. She laughed too.

Last night was the great experiment. Ben did fall asleep with me on the couch before I put him in the crib and he slept until 3 am! He hollered for a while, but after I changed him and gave him another bottle, he went back to sleep. He woke again at 5 am, but I stayed strong and didn't respond to his cries, even though I was feeling those pangs of guilt, and he did go back to sleep. Yeah! Another microjoy! The night was a success from my standpoint. I feel human today. Courtney was pleased too when she came home this morning from work. They'll both go home this afternoon after she wakes up and they can begin the process at home too.

Other microjoys the past couple weeks included Courtney accepting a Nurse Supervisor position at Childrens' Hospital in Seattle where she's worked the past seven years. This is her first step into management. Not only that, but she is doing amazingly well with the diet and exercise class that she, Kendall,and I are engaged in. In fact Courtney and I have signed up for another eight weeks starting the first week in May.

Lots of microjoys have occurred in the last couple weeks and fortunately, I recognized them when they happened. Don't let those moments slip by. It may be just the smell of coffee brewing in the morning, a cat brushing against your leg, or sun streaming through the window. (Don't focus on the fact the windows need washing!). What was your microjoy today?