Jeans fly. Socks don't

Jeans fly. Socks not so much. Bras do better than socks.

I've learned all this from experience and having Uncle Charlie as a pet. As he's aged we never know where he might end up doing his "thing." He favors the TV and living room carpets. No amount of stain and odor remover or essence of oil so strong it takes weeks to dissipate the hideous aroma, deter his sense of smell! Charlie is deaf, blind in one eye and can't see out of the other. A friend wisely informed me that when certain senses diminish, what's left gets stronger. Hmmmm - wish that were true for me too.

I finally found a great looking extendable gate on www.Overstock.com that now graces the living room entrance. It does give our living room a museum look, but that's appropriate since it gets used about twice a year when we have large family gatherings and everyone can't fit into the kitchen.

My solution for the TV room was to use the child gate we'd installed at the top of the stairs to keep grandchildren corralled. They have all since figured out how to open and close that one, even better than Scott and some of our visitors. "Just squeeze the upper and lower levers together at the same time, " I explain time and again. No explanation was needed for my two brilliant grandsons and I know my granddaughter, who's verging on genius, would have figured it out, but since the boys usually left it open, there has been no need for her to trouble herself. Smart girl.

Charlie also likes to lick. It's not just the friendly lick of your face which I love, it's "I'm going to lick any and every piece of clothing left on or near the floor." I hang my clothes up or at least perch them high enough on a chair back that I don't have a problem. On the other hand, Scott is known for leaving whatever he takes off wherever it lands. That's usually on the floor. His underwear or his bathrobe or you name it, when retrieved in the morning is always accompanied by the air turning blue. You know what I mean. Good thing Charlie is deaf or he might be offended. Needless to say, he pays absolutely no attention to the outpouring of anything but love.

I tried to placate Scott by saying, "Some people have grit. You're just an 'Old Salt'... and Charlie likes it!" Since that doesn't work, gate number three was installed on the utility room door to keep good ole Charlie penned in at night. Since I put Charlie to bed before I get undressed, I would have to step over the gate - which is about crotch high - to put my clothes in the open hamper on the other side of the room. So I've learned first hand what flies and what doesn't. Jeans sail much better than socks. And I'm getting pretty good at flinging bras.