TDP - even for Photographers!

Meghan called to let me know she'd received the photo session/DVD as a baby shower gift from her friend Betty. Meghan is due to have baby Rowen in about six weeks and we discussed her newborn picture options and possibly a family photo again in the fall.

It was good to catch up with her. Meghan and I had worked together at the Washington State Department of Health before I retired in 2008 and although I took her wedding photos last May and we'd had lunch together, that was before she was pregnant! It had been awhile. Her good news is that she and Brandon are about two weeks away from getting a new home south of Olympia. She's on maternity leave now, but keeping busy preparing for the move.

Our conversation turned to the whooping cough epidemic in Washington. Meghan is a communication specialist and often writes articles about health issues in the state, so I shouldn't have been surprised when she asked if I'd had my TDP (tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis) shot. I hadn't, but you would think that as the past director of the division responsible for licensing and investigating health care professionals in this state, I would have been more attuned to the need for a shot. According to statistics gathered so far this year, pertussis continues to increase in King County and Washington state. As of May 10, a total of 237 cases were reported for King County compared to 98 cases for all of 2011. Statewide, about 1,280 cases have been reported compared to 110 cases in the same period last year. The Washington State Department announced the state could see as many as 3,000 cases by year's end.

I was grateful to Meghan for reminding me about getting a shot, which I did yesterday. It was a walk-in, painless experience with the nurse at our primary care physician's office. I try to be very conscientious about safety issues in the studio and on location when I'm taking photos - particularly of infants, toddlers, and children. Meghan reminding me that safety also means getting a shot was a bit of a surprise, but one I didn't take lightly. I joked that I should have known I'd be getting advice from her. She kept me on track when we worked together. Why would it be any different now!

So a word to others, particularly if you're a care giver of infants or someone coming into contact with babies. Get your shot now. It doesn't hurt and it will certainly help protect our little ones. www.BonnieKingPhotography.com

Finding Karina

As soon as I hit the send key March 3, 2012, the "what ifs" enveloped me with regret. What if the timing isn't right for her? She knows she's adopted, but what if she doesn't want to know her biological family? I didn't ask Courtney whether I should do this; now how do I explain this selfish impulse to her?

Three days earlier, I'd spent time with Courtney and our conversation turned to Karina, the daughter for whom Courtney, at the age of 18, had chosen an adoption plan. "I found her on the Internet," she said nonchalantly.

"You did! How did you do that?"

"I just Googled 'Karina, Class of 2011, Ketchikan, Alaska' and there were three Karinas with photos of each of them. I knew immediately who she was."

We continued our conversation. Courtney indicated she'd decided not to contact her, but wanted to leave it up to Karina to contact her, when and if she wanted to.

I mulled this over from Thursday until Saturday. Courtney had decided not to contact Karina, but she hadn't said anything about me not contacting her, I rationalized. When I couldn't contain myself any longer, I went online and found Karina's facebook page. There she was, looking like Courtney and at the same time, very much like her biological father. Without any further thought given to the consequences, I sent the following "friend" request:

"Hi Karina. I hope you won't be upset that I'm requesting you as a friend on facebook. I'm your biological grandmother. Your biological mother, Courtney, found you on the Internet and told me. She decided it would be up to you to contact her if and when you want to. I just wanted you to know we've loved and prayed for you all these years. We know you have wonderful parents and a younger brother, Michael. We will always wish only the best for you."

The next three days were full of prayers asking God to somehow keep my lack of self restraint from becoming a disaster. Monday, March 5th, my prayers were answered. I received the following facebook message from Karina:

"Dear Grandma Bonnie,
I never imagined that my first contact with my biological family would be through Facebook. It is truly funny how modern technology gives us these new opportunities. I was very surprised to see your friend request, but after much prayer and seeking counsel from my parents and other leading figures in my life, I have chosen to accept your request in the hope that our relationship will go beyond Facebook and that I can slowly become a part of your life and you can slowly become a part of mine. I have always had a desire in my heart to someday write a letter to you and to Courtney expressing my desire to meet you in person and Lord willing, have you all become a part of my life. It seems that God has chosen to move in a different way and bring us together much sooner than I had ever imagined, but this is something that I want very, very much. The past 19 years of my life have been wonderful. I have no regrets and neither should Courtney. She made the right choice and she chose for me two wonderful parents. My Mom and Dad have given me opportunities that some people only dream of. More than giving me opportunities, they have also given me a two-parent family that has centered our lives on Christ."

I wept tears of joy (and relief), as you can well imagine. Now I had to tell Courtney what had happened.

As we rode to exercise class together on Tuesday evening, I was thinking about how I would sit down with Courtney after class and tell her about facebook and Karina. The best laid plans...

"So - I see you're facebook friends with Karina," Courtney stated matter of factly, as I just about drove off the road.

"How did you know that?"

"Your facebook page says that you and Karina are friends. I saw it a couple days ago."

Feeling like a real dummy, not having thought (March was my month for not thinking, just doing) about the fact that Courtney checks my facebook page regularly, I asked her how she felt about it. Not surprisingly - she responded, "I was angry with you at first, but I've had some time to think about it and it's okay. Now I need time to process all this some more before I contact her."

I did ask Courtney to forgive me and by the end of the week, Courtney and Karina were friends on facebook. A couple weeks later, Kendall and Karina became friends too.

In the last two months, there have been many messages between Courtney and Karina with questions and answers covering the last 19-1/2 years of Karina's life. I've also done my share of messaging and emailing, with the understanding I wouldn't blog or write anything about it on facebook. (That's been very hard for the person who has trouble keeping secrets, but no trouble doing something impulsive!)

This past week, I was given permission by both Courtney and Karina to tell the story of finding Karina. And Karina just made her own facebook announcement too. After making plans with Courtney, she tagged Courtney, Kendall, and me on our facebook pages, that she'll be coming to Washington in mid-August to stay with Courtney, Ron and Ben for about three days before she heads back to college in South Carolina. We are all giddy with excitement and of course, she'll be visiting with the rest of us too!

Even selfish actions are used by God for good. That was certainly the case in finding Karina.

Workouts, Writing & Wittee Women

I just started another eight-week round of twice a week boot-camp-like exercise in the Momma Wants Her Body Back Class with instructor, Codi Howell. Courtney and I signed up again with six other wannabe-fit women. The motivation for us to sweat like we've never sweat before, to jump up and down and jiggle body parts till they feel like they're falling off (I still don't have a sports bra - must get one), and to feel great about it when we're done - is a little different for each of us. The younger women who've recently had babies truly want their body back. Those of us in the class who are grandmas (three of us again this time), want to be able to take care of grandchildren - holding, lifting, chasing after, and generally keeping up with them for the foreseeable future. (This photo is probably the best one you'll see of me when I'm exercising. :-))

But, having experienced the first eight weeks in March and April, I saw and heard the motivation change from wanting to do something for others, to becoming much more personal. Courtney is glowing with self-confidence and so proud that she found out she really can run in spite of spinal surgery three years ago. Another young women has decided she too will become a certified trainer and is well on her way to doing just that. Another grandma held a plank for almost six minutes at the end of the last session and signed up again because she likes the exercise and how it makes her feel. (She looks younger than her first photos, by the way). I know I'm stronger than I was and can feel the difference as I continue trying to get much more done each day than time allows. (Today after a WIT breakfast, I got the car washed, shopped at Safeway, walked a couple miles in DeCoursey and Clark's Creek Parks looking for great photo sites for this weekend's shoots, stopped by Adoption Ministry, shopped at Costco, went to the bank and with Scott to pick up our van from being serviced at the dealership, caught up on email, and after finishing this blog will edit about 60 glamour photos which will probably take at least four hours and I still feel great!) And I don't dread exercising or doing planks any more. I'm still a wimp at some of the exercises, but certainly willing to keep working at them. Codi also gets to use me as an example since at 67, I'm the oldest in the class. For more information about Body Back, visit Codi's facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/BodyBackPuyallup.

This morning at the breakfast get together of the WIT women (Women in Transition), we had some missing members, but a couple of the women who participated in my Writing Memoir classes at the Puyallup Senior Activities Center joined us. What fun! An original WIT woman, MaryBeth, knew Carol right away since they'd gone to high school together. Another Bonnie came as well, and soon the morning evaporated as we shared time, experiences, adventures, plans and bounced ideas off one another.

This is a casual group that started over two years ago - hard to believe - for the purpose of networking and supporting one another as we either started new businesses, were facing retirement, or had other transitions going on in our lives. (When aren't women in transition?) Once we hit on the topic of writing, MaryBeth, who is a skilled writer, shared with us that she used to write to her daughter every year on her daughter's birthday. Her daughter had asked to know about the day of her birth. So each year MaryBeth would write about some aspect of the day/event. As the years went on, she had to become more creative and one year wrote the story as a fairy tale. Carol then shared that on the day of her great grandson's birth, she wrote a four-page letter to him about all the events of the day, her daughter and son-in-laws reactions and of course, how she felt about all of it. What a treasure. She gave the letter to them and they are now sharing it with others. She had also shared the letter in the memoir class.

Bonnie - the other Bonnie - is an avid traveler who is keeping a notebook of ideas for stories to write. She shared a bit with us the morning about recent trips to San Diego and Coeur d'alene and in class, she'd written about adventures traveling the Alcan Highway in Alaska in 1985, a trip she wants to repeat soon. This led to MaryBeth sharing her adventures a couple years ago driving her RV alone from here to Florida and back.

I am so blessed to have all these positive influences in my life. In fact, Carol shared this morning that she is ridding her life of negative influences. If she feels worse after having been with someone, she trys not to repeat the experience. If we could only all make those choices!

In the meantime, thinking of workouts which leave us sore, transitions in life which leave us wondering, and people who aren't always positive as a necessary pathway to something better - helps us recognize and appreciate positive blessings when they're presented to us.

Like sunshine after the rain - workouts, writing classes and Wittee women bring a glow to my life and warmth to my heart.  www.BonnieKingPhotography.com